Monthly Archives: October 2014

Rest in Peace Grandma Brenda

Posted on by

How do you explain death to a toddler? In the course of one week Justin and I have had to explain the concept not once but twice to Avery and Emerson.  Last Sunday they attended the funeral of their Great Grandpa, Papa Mac.  The day before the funeral and after the funeral we gathered at my Grandma’s house; there were a lot of people and a lot of typical Jewish food, we told the girls we were there to celebrate the life of Papa Mac.  They understood that Papa Mac was not “at his own party” and he wasn’t coming back.  They knew he was in heaven, although I’m not certain that they understand that heaven is any different than going to the store. 

Five days after Papa Mac’s funeral, Justin’s mom Brenda passed away after a long and courageous battle with ALS.  And with that less than a week later, Justin and I again had to tell our girls that another one of their relatives, their Grandma Brenda had gone to heaven.  While death is certainly all around us and a normal part of the life cycle, the truth is it isn’t normal to have close family members pass away on a “regular” basis….and within 5 days made me feel like my girls were going to think, “okay, who is going to heaven next week Mommy?”

We explained that Grandma Brenda was in heaven.  They asked why, who drove her to heaven?  They asked when she was coming back.  We explained the concept of forever and that Grandma Brenda would be in heaven forever.   It’s odd but even at 3 years old, once we got down to Virginia Beach, neither Avery nor Emerson once asked where Grandma Brenda was.  They knew she was in heaven and wouldn’t be with us as we celebrated her life.  They knew that Grandma Brenda was now with Papa Mac in heaven forever….

Justin eulogized Brenda and did a great job.  Avery was his helper as she darted up the church stage to be center stage with Justin as soon as he made his way to the podium.  She definitely helped lighten the mood and helped Justin get through his eulogy.  As Justin said in his eulogy, when Brenda received the official ALS diagnosis in the summer of 2007, we all knew what that meant. The average life span from diagnosis of ALS is 3 – 5 years.  Brenda’s symptoms begin probably close to 2 years prior to her official diagnosis.  When Justin and I got engaged in spring of 2007 and were planning our wedding for the following year, we wondered if we were making a mistake by planning it for September 2008.  Was a year and a half to far away?  We decided to have an Engagement Party Labor Day Weekend of 2007 largely in part so that if Justin’ mom was not around for our wedding she would have participated in our wedding celebration in some capacity.  Well our wedding came and Brenda was there…she was in her wheelchair and she couldn’t eat any of our food, except maybe the mashed potatoes, but she was there and she was overjoyed to be there.  Justin and I never expected she would be around by the time we had kids…we waited  a few years before we had kids and it never crossed our minds once to rush into having kids just so Brenda could be around to see them.  So we were overjoyed when the time came to tell her about the news of her next TWO grandchildren….and we were overjoyed when she was not only still around to meet them, but that she was also able to make the trip (her last trip to Northern Virginia) to visit them in the hospital.  And could you imagine our thrill (and hers) when Christmas 2012, when the girls were just over 1 years old, that we told her that Avery and Emerson were going to be big sisters.  Since the girls were born, Brenda was not able to travel as she has been confined to a hospital bed in the house for pretty much the last three years with time in her wheelchair occasionally.  We were able to make the trip to Virginia Beach a few times a year and she loved seeing her granddaughters.  And with modern technology FaceTime allowed her to see the girls on a regular basis….at least every other night since the girls were born. We were told by many of people at her funeral that Brenda loved to show off pictures of Avery, Emerson, and Harper on her IPAD.  She would just scroll through the pictures and show everyone who came to visit. 

So right now, the fact that Brenda is gone seems surreal…we knew this day would be coming and for years thought this day would be sometime that year and each year she would amaze us and be around for the next….we said several good byes and it got to the point where truly we didn’t know when this day would actually come.  It came….and it was peaceful in a way….it’s still hard to believe that we won’t be Face Timing with her tonight or tomorrow or ever again.  But she is with is…she is with us in spirit and she is running around smiling and talking and laughing and watching over us…ALL those things that she hasn’t been able to do in her body since her ALS diagnosis.  I feel sad that the girls will grow up without her – she would have spoiled them like no other especially with her shopping habits.  There are going to be times, I’m sure many of times, where we will feel her void but I can only hope that we will feel her presence at the same time.

Brenda, even though you never complained of your condition or your diagnosis, we know you were in pain…you are pain free now and for that I am grateful….you can now do all those things that you have dreamed about doing the last 8 years….Rest in Peace Grandma Brenda.

A Great Grandpa

Posted on by

I was fortunate to have grown up with my Papa Mac being a big part of my life. He passed away one week ago at the ripe old age of 90.  He lived a full life.  I’m so glad that he got to meet all three his great granddaughters on several occasions and glad we were able to capture these precious moments.

Papa Mac with Emerson when she was 8 weeks old.

Papa Mac with Avery when she was 7 months old.

Papa Mac with Harper when she was 9 weeks old.

I also spoke at  his funeral yesterday….here is a copy of my eulogy.

Here I am questioning myself….why am I not more upset about your death….I’m sad your gone but I don’t have this sick feeling in my stomach about it….and I know the reason….It’s because you lived…you lived a full life that was rich in quantity (you were 90 years old) and quality!  You were a simple man; your greatest pleasure in life was your family.  In recent years as you became less mobile, your face would just beam with joy with each family visit. 

Your family was your pride and joy…..a loving wife of 65 years, 2 sons, 2 daughter in laws, 3 granddaughters, 1 grandson, plus a bonus grandson by marriage, and 3 great granddaughters who loved talking about Papa Mac.  I’m so fortunate that you were able to meet them and they were able to meet and know you.  You were proud of who you were and your roots.  You were proud of your parents and your siblings and when you told stories of your youth your face would light up; you remembered the stories like they were just yesterday.

As my Grandpa, there were two recurring stories that you loved to tell me….and each time you told it, it was like you had never told it before….I’m not sure if you didn’t realize you had told it before or you truly just loved the story that much…I tend to think it was the latter….anyway, the first was with regards to my birth…..35 years ago!…you  would always tell the story of hopping on a plane right away upon my birth to meet your first grandchild…and then how you were able to identify me right away in the nursery with my full head of black hair.  Then there was the story of how I would run down the hall at the Rotunda (the condominium I lived in until I was five) every time you came to visit. 

When I was a kid, you would come visit me and Lauren in Virginia a few times a year.  You would drive down in your Caddy and stay for a few days….although by the size of Grandma’s valise, one would have thought you would have been staying all month.  And a special gift for me and Lauren, often clothing, would accompany you.

For many of my childhood and my teenage years we would spend Thanksgivings together…you, Grandma, Mom, Dad, Russell, Mary, me and Lauren, and a few years Michael and Caroline before I went off to College.  On years that were seasonably warm, we would hang out outside in your “yard” as we waited meal time.   In between visits we would speak on the phone…for many years it was weekly and while in recent years the frequency has been far less, one thing still remained the same…each and every call would end with the both of us saying, I love you.  I will always know how much he loved me…and not only me, but also how much he loved his entire family.

Papa Mac was a real Jew…he loved to eat (incase you couldn’t tell from his belly)….he loved Italian Food and Grandma’s famous cooking….although he didn’t like cheese, something I’ll never understand….I have vivid memories of some of the edible goodies he and Grandma would bring with them on their Virginia visits…such as the famous Rainbow cookies and a good ‘ol Entammen’s Black-out cake.

Softball was my passion growing up and Papa Mac was one of my biggest fans.  He even played on his own softball team in Concordia!

Papa Mac’s long term memory was insane….he even had a great memory and liked to tell stories of his earlier years and of his parents and 5 siblings.  He was a sports enthusiast and would always love to talk about sports….especially those Terrapins.  He was funny too…although I think sometimes it was truly unintentional…. In the hosptial 10 years ago, he would flirt with some of the younger nurses.  One of the ladies’ names was Roma, and I remember Papa Mac telling her she was his favorite tomato! 

It was over 10 years ago when my Papa first met Justin, my husband.  I don’t know why but a lot of people get the name Justin confused with Jason….Papa Mac was no exception.  Sometimes he would call Justin Justin, other times Jason….sometimes he was quite aware that he would confuse the two…other times not as much…he liked Justin….he would often ask how his job at the bank was…often times I would humor him…but Papa I’m here to tell you one final time, Justin doesn’t work at a bank:).  But the important thing was that he liked Justin and considered him his second grandson.

While I know that this short eulogy in no way captures everything about you that was so great, I do know that you were special to each and every one of us who are here today in different ways.  You were also quite special to many other family and friends who either couldn’t be with us today or departed before you.  And while you were so special to all us in different ways, I can say with certainty one common thing we all share is that we are going to miss you.

 RIP Papa Mac

Pumpkin Patch Fun

Posted on by

This weekend we went to a Pumpkin Patch in Reston.  We had an AWESOME time! 

The girls had a great time going up and down the slide…Avery especially!  It was $3 per kid all day so the girls could go on and off of it as much as they liked. Emerson was afraid to climb up it the first few times but after about the third or fourth time on it, she mustered up the courage to actually climb up to the top and once she did, she was unstoppable.  Literally every time Avery would slide down, she would beam with excitement and shout out “I did it all by myself the first time”….she was so proud of herself. 

She even started a trend and started to go down head first…soon after many of the older kids were trying to copy her….go ahead my little trendsetter!

Harper happily ate her snack and took things in while Avery and Emerson did “big girl” activities.

She did get her turn on the slide…

The girls had fun watching the baby animals….they even fed the baby goats leaves!  Emerson was really into it and thought it was funny…Avery thought it was funny as well; however, she was a little scared to get too close to the fence. The roosters kept saying “cockadoodledoo” and the girls would repeat after the rooster!

They had fun riding the train…although Avery had a moment right before she was going to get on where she refused to go….so Justin ended up having to get on and ride with them and Avery rode on his lap the entire time.  Both girls were smiles the entire train ride!  Harper sat with me and watched her sisters go chugga chugga choo choo.

We treated the girls to some fresh popped popcorn.  They had to wait patiently while a fresh batch popped.

They found some seats in the pumpkin patch to eat their snack.

They picked out some pumpkins!

And they wanted to display their affection for their little sister….who wasn’t so fond of the situation.

It was a great little pumpkin patch and we all had so much fun….can’t wait to go back…so much so that we may even have Karolin take them one day during the week this season!

Not A Baby, But Always My Baby

Posted on by

Ms. Harper Paige!  While I still call you baby, the truth is, you’re not a baby anymore!  You have been walking for nearly 3 months now….and you are fast.  You like to runaway especially if you know someone is trying to pick you up or get you to go in a certain direction.  You run away and just laugh…you think it is funny and the truth is…it is funny!  You like to play with your sisters….they are rough with you…and you can surprisingly handle it…you are almost as rough right back at them.  You have developed a temper recently…especially when you don’t get something you want or if someone takes something away from you like a toy or something you shouldn’t have been playing with to begin with.  You have even recently started biting when you are mad or don’t get your way!  The first few times it was kind of funny just because you are on the young side to be doing so, but after the first few times, it wasn’t so funny anymore.  The main victims are your sisters….they are really good though and they don’t bite you back…even Avery who still sometimes has her own biting problem…the victim being Emerson.  You have been known to pull their hair as well, something else they are not a big fan of!  You grunt a lot…especially as a means of communication.  You say mama and dada on occasion but not really with meaning.  You understand pretty much everything though and I don’t think you are in a rush to talk….I guess you are satisfied with your sisters doing all of the talking. You love playing with your sisters and they adore you…they especially love to get up in your face and give you huge hugs….you’re not the biggest fan of their hugs as their hugs resemble very tight squeezes.  You have learned how to turn around and scoot down the stairs…you have been climbing the stairs for well over a month now…another task that you think is funny especially when you are supposed to be in the kitchen with mommy and you run away to escape up the stairs. 

Your hair is turning curly as I was certain it would….your hair is much lighter than when you were born, but not as light as your sister’s hair.  You are a pretty good eater although you don’t really like vegetables….and if there is a food you have been known to throw off your tray, its vegetables.  You drink about 18 ounces of cow’s milk a day now…I nursed you until about 11 months and frozen breast milk got us through just after your 1st birthday.  The switch to cow’s milk was no big deal for you.  Your sleeping is great….you go down about 8:30 and sleep for up to 12 hours…..you stopped getting up at 6:00 a.m. after Mommy stopped nursing you.  You still nap twice a day for the most part….although sometimes your morning nap gets derailed by your sister’s ballet class or their pre-school pick-up.  You still suck your thumb; although, not as much as you used to.

And while you are no longer a baby, you are still a joy.  While you go to sleep unassisted, one particular night earlier this week, you woke up crying about 45 minutes after I put you down.  I’m not sure what was wrong but it was so out of the ordinary for you that I went in your room and quietly picked you up. You peacefully layed your head in my body and we rocked….I forgot about the dishes that awaited me in the kitchen and the laundry that was waiting to be folded….in that moment it was just you and me baby girl!