This post is late because the past few days have been tough for me.  A lot going on and I just needed some time to reflect.  Parenting!  There are some moments where it brings such joy and there are some moments that it brings such frustration!  Last Wednesday night was one of those moments where I was ready to experience joy, and frustration replaced my joy in a moments notice.  Avery had her dance rehearsal.  She religiously went to her weekly ballet class for the past 9 months…she loves dance and she knew her routine.  Yet before she was about to go on stage, she started panicking…she was in the front and she thought she was going to fall off the stage.  At her request, we said a quick prayer together, and I sent her off while I went to take a seat so I could video the performance.  My joy faded when her class appeared on stage and there was clearly no Avery.  After finding her and confirming she wasn’t lost, I was frustrated and angry.  But I quickly realized being angry or frustrated with her was not going do anything to help with her stage freight for the real performance Saturday.

We drove off and instead of going home, I swallowed my disappointment, and decided to take her to Wendy’s.  I didn’t tell her where we we were going.  I just drove there, parked the car, and got in the back-seat with her – we talked and I encouraged her and lifted her spirits.  She was ecstatic about my spontaneous decision to let her eat Wendy’s for dinner.  We came up with a plan and I felt certain that she would get on stage for her recital Saturday. 

I felt pretty certain she was going to perform over the next few days…even up to a half hour before the performance, I thought she was going to do it.  We even took a few silly selfies.

She was nervous but again it wasn’t overpowering and she seemed ready to face her fears.  BUT a half hour before the performance was set to start, she started exhibiting behaviors that indicated she may not perform.  I took my seat in the audience and patiently waited the 30 minutes before her routine went on stage, feeling like there was a 50/50 chance of seeing Avery leap out on that stage.  To everyone’s disappointment, Avery didn’t perform with her class.  My heart sank. I clearly didn’t force her, I didn’t threaten her….we did have a plan in place for a reward, but certainly not a threat.  She knew her routine, she would have been great, while her fear of falling off the stage was very real to her, she would not have fallen off stage.  Could I, should I have done something differently?  It keeps playing in my head.

That question continued to eat away at me into the following day, which was Father’s Day.  We had a good day, but my head wasn’t in the game completely.  Justin is an amazing husband and so supportive and loved the day, but I wasn’t on top of my game with planning for the day…I was with the presents but not with our day’s plans.

Anyway, breakfast in the pit…where I had so many things cooking at once that I burned quite a few of the sunny side-up eggs!  Followed by presents…

Yes, we got Daddy a skateboard!  And Larissa made a really cool YOU ROCK picture frame with the girls!

Followed by a lot of driving that afternoon, before we finally ended up at Quattro Gumba.

While I didn’t bring any snacks (nada, totally not me!), I did bring the chapter book we were reading.  And while the girls were troopers, it was not only hot out, but super muggy and humid and I think they were a little bored with nothing “organized” for them to do.  

It was still a good day though and I’m glad to report that I have really been reflecting the past few days and being grateful for life even when it is hard or doesn’t go as planned.